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cylon · 09-01-2009, 12:49 AM

seeker--up until a few months ago, I knew two people socially... but we rarely did anything other than stay inside and watch tv. There was a sports bar on my street that I had been to before, and really enjoyed, and I was DYING to go there alone an watch the game with other people who wanted to be out enjoying themselves---and I was just too scared to do it. WAY too self-conscious to walk into a social establishment, by myself, and just "hang out" and hope that by doing that I would meet people.

But, I did. I made myself go out.... and started to like it. I got over the idea that I was by myself and soon I was having conversations and now I'm meeting women there and know a lot of the regulars already and have had so many fun conversations and experiences at this place, and have met a lot of interesting people, and have had a few interesting romantic experiences to boot. I am starting to associate strangers with potential fun experiences, when normally they would be potentially scary experiences.

One other thing that helped me was something Steve told me a while back, and that was that in order to open the space to meet successful, positive people, I had to let go of the not so positive people, which was a friend I had had for years and years and years.... but he started making insults about me going out alone and doing this stuff, and finally, I accepted what Steve said, I "cut the cord" so to speak and have not seen this person for going on two months now. Talk on the phone on occasion. Now I realize I don't need that "crutch", I thought without his friendship I would just be alone. But that is not what has been happening.... I can go out now, alone, even on busy weekend evenings, and enjoy myself, and I know I will meet someone and have a good time. But I sure didn't feel that way several months ago, that's for sure.

So I know exactly what you're going through, and I know how intimidating it can seem at first. And it will stay intimidating for awhile.... but we are all social creatures, we are all designed to benefit from being around others and we all have the capability of being a wonderful person to be around as well.

Good luck with your "courage training".

09-01-2009, 12:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
cylon Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 6,852	seeker--up until a few months ago, I knew two people socially... but we rarely did anything other than stay inside and watch tv. There was a sports bar on my street that I had been to before, and really enjoyed, and I was DYING to go there alone an watch the game with other people who wanted to be out enjoying themselves---and I was just too scared to do it. WAY too self-conscious to walk into a social establishment, by myself, and just "hang out" and hope that by doing that I would meet people. But, I did. I made myself go out.... and started to like it. I got over the idea that I was by myself and soon I was having conversations and now I'm meeting women there and know a lot of the regulars already and have had so many fun conversations and experiences at this place, and have met a lot of interesting people, and have had a few interesting romantic experiences to boot. I am starting to associate strangers with potential fun experiences, when normally they would be potentially scary experiences. One other thing that helped me was something Steve told me a while back, and that was that in order to open the space to meet successful, positive people, I had to let go of the not so positive people, which was a friend I had had for years and years and years.... but he started making insults about me going out alone and doing this stuff, and finally, I accepted what Steve said, I "cut the cord" so to speak and have not seen this person for going on two months now. Talk on the phone on occasion. Now I realize I don't need that "crutch", I thought without his friendship I would just be alone. But that is not what has been happening.... I can go out now, alone, even on busy weekend evenings, and enjoy myself, and I know I will meet someone and have a good time. But I sure didn't feel that way several months ago, that's for sure. So I know exactly what you're going through, and I know how intimidating it can seem at first. And it will stay intimidating for awhile.... but we are all social creatures, we are all designed to benefit from being around others and we all have the capability of being a wonderful person to be around as well. Good luck with your "courage training". Last edited by cylon; 09-01-2009 at 12:54 AM.