I read in an addiction recovery book (paraphrasing) that there is a difference between whistling in the dark to keep your spirits up (which is based in irrational fear and denial), and living in the light because we proactively seek and work for it.
For example, I'm living with someone who is detrimental to my emotional growth. I don't like it, but if I were to tell myself, "they'll change in time" that would be denial. I know this because I know the truth about my thinking patterns and what usually happens when I try to react out of irrational fear. I work on setting and keeping boundaries with them, so as to keep myself sane, thus, positive thinking paired with proactively seeking what it is I need emotionally.
I really would love to deny this person exists and ignore them most of the time, but because I want to grow, I *get* to face my fears, as irrational as they may be. This always means facing the truth within myself.
I also cannot place expectations on myself, by telling myself that I can do it by myself without other human relationships that do help my spiritual growth, that would be denial. Instead I *get* to take risks with other people, and if and when I find they are emotionally trustworthy, I can feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable.
Might I also say that I just found this forum online and have not yet had the pleasure of reading Steve's book, because I didn't know there was one. I am ordering it now.
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