Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

lostinspace · 02-12-2007, 06:53 AM

I guess this subforum seems appropriate enough for what I'm about to tell you, as it must be largely a social issue.

I'm 34 years old and am going crazy. I don't have close friends. I've never been in a relationship with a woman (I'm a guy) though I've dated a few times. If you knew what I looked like, you'd be shocked I'm single. Women NEVER approach me, and people in general pretty much ignore me in social situations. I still can't figure out what I want to do when I "grow up," jumping from one job/career/hobbie to the next; the Purpose articles on this site don't seem to be working for me (at least not yet). Always depressed, always alone. My state is totally affecting my productivity at work and life in general. I have nobody to talk to save for a psychologist I recently made an appointment with...my parents are uneducated immigrants who can't really relate to my problems and generally don't talk to their kids that much.

My youth was a nightmare. I couldn't hold a steady job until I was 26, so I never had any money. Even now I have great difficulty just getting through a job interview, and just take whatever menial job I can get. This despite the fact that I have a high IQ. I never went to parties or any of that because I would just freak out. On Fri/Sat nights I was often home crying myself to sleep. Stayed away from malls, stores, public bathrooms...that sort of thing. If I was forced to be somewhere, like school, I just couldn't talk. I'd try to but when I opened my mouth nothing would come out--I believe this is called Selective Mutism. The only time I seemed to function normally was when I was out with my skateboarding pals.

I'm scared. I don't want to live like this any longer, and I often just want to die. I can't even describe the feeling I get when walking alone through a "cool" part of town and seeing all these people out doing fun things and having a good time together.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice? Sorry for the long post, but I just had to vent, I guess.

02-12-2007, 06:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
lostinspace Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4	What the hell is wrong with me? I guess this subforum seems appropriate enough for what I'm about to tell you, as it must be largely a social issue. I'm 34 years old and am going crazy. I don't have close friends. I've never been in a relationship with a woman (I'm a guy) though I've dated a few times. If you knew what I looked like, you'd be shocked I'm single. Women NEVER approach me, and people in general pretty much ignore me in social situations. I still can't figure out what I want to do when I "grow up," jumping from one job/career/hobbie to the next; the Purpose articles on this site don't seem to be working for me (at least not yet). Always depressed, always alone. My state is totally affecting my productivity at work and life in general. I have nobody to talk to save for a psychologist I recently made an appointment with...my parents are uneducated immigrants who can't really relate to my problems and generally don't talk to their kids that much. My youth was a nightmare. I couldn't hold a steady job until I was 26, so I never had any money. Even now I have great difficulty just getting through a job interview, and just take whatever menial job I can get. This despite the fact that I have a high IQ. I never went to parties or any of that because I would just freak out. On Fri/Sat nights I was often home crying myself to sleep. Stayed away from malls, stores, public bathrooms...that sort of thing. If I was forced to be somewhere, like school, I just couldn't talk. I'd try to but when I opened my mouth nothing would come out--I believe this is called Selective Mutism. The only time I seemed to function normally was when I was out with my skateboarding pals. I'm scared. I don't want to live like this any longer, and I often just want to die. I can't even describe the feeling I get when walking alone through a "cool" part of town and seeing all these people out doing fun things and having a good time together. Anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice? Sorry for the long post, but I just had to vent, I guess.