[cylon]

Wow, this is so much how I was, not even a few months ago.

Clutter-- it was tough, but I threw a BUNCH of stuff away, and got rid of many books I was attached to, built some cabinets and a bookshelf to better organize the stuff I actually WANTED to keep (because it means something, not just because I paid for it and therefore should hold onto it) and now, more or less, the clutter is gone, and I've got more space. Much nicer.

News-- give it up. Would you rather spend the rest of your life in misery or spend the rest of your life living to the fullest? The best way to do the former is to be a news junkie. Because, there is bad stuff in the world. We know this, but we feel it's important to keep reminding ourselves of this fact. I was a news junkie for years. I gave it up this last election cyle. I am so much better off without it. It was, talk radio in the car on the way to work, news websites at work/breaks, talk radio on the way home, political talkshows/screaming matches on the evenings, mixed in with some online debating with people who will never agree with me and vice versa, and all the sunday news talk shows. That's a great way to get all the negativity bases covered. Did this for YEARS.

Gave it up. I don't miss it. One bit. I don't feel stupid. Or uninformed. I check the headlines online every day, and that's enough. I have a general idea of what's going on in the world and that's good enough for me. Life has crap in it. Being aware of it, doesn't take it away. It puts your focus on it, and thus it expands in your life. My political beliefs, are what they are. I vote. But, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I have no need to debate politics. No need for negativity. I prefer the change.

Sad songs... same here. All sad songs. All. Sad. Songs. I save my playlists on my iPod... a few months ago I was having a very difficult time. Lately things are better. I looked at my playlist from a few months ago. It's not much wonder I was struggling and in pain. I was reinforcing those feelings by all the sad music I was listening to. Despair, heartbreak, pain, negativity. Sometimes it's good because it helps you release, you're not alone, etc. But at other times, when you're probably feeling ok, by listening to this stuff, you are again inviting negative, sad feelings... when you weren't even feeling that bad to begin with!

My current playlists? Maybe a few of those songs. I've spent my whole life obsessed with melancholy music, it's not just going to go away, but I don't really feel the need to listen to it much anymore. I mix it up. Faster, more upbeat, inspirational music, makes me feel GOOD now. Because it's more in line with the way I'm feeling. Sad music makes you feel better, when you're feeling sad and need some validation.

I don't miss the sad music that I spent my entire life falling in love with. It's still there. I can play it whenever I want. Just like I can watch the news and screaming matches (debates) whenever I want. Option always there. It's just that now, I.... don't. Not my first impulse anymore. Things that make me feel good, I am more likely to gravitate towards. The things that are negative/sad, they are a part of me, but just not in my immediate awareness. I think it's called changing.

I know it's a long response, but your post could have been me, word for word, not too long ago. I went through the same questioning. You're posting, so obviously something's nudging you try some new things. I did it, I gave it a shot, and I feel better now than at any other point in my life, simply by focusing on things that feel better and letting the bad stuff, take care of itself, somewhere out of my immediate consciousness.

Whew.