Quote:
Originally Posted by Emaaki  I don't know. I have to live with all these changes I have made to myself for the rest of my life now. I have to deal with the fact that I am very emotionally experienced in alot of ways or at least feel it. I cannot enjoy alot of tho be because my mind is e tremely disciplined. I have matured so many disciplines in my mind. I have forced myself to grow up unintentionally too fast. I feel old n extremely unhappy. |
Hmm, did I misunderstand your original post? I dunno; if my last post seems irrelevant, disregard it. Take what's helpful, leave the rest-you know the drill.
Stop being a victim. Nothing you've done is irreversible. It's impossible to kill your emotions off for good. If it were, you wouldn't even know regret. They're still there and it's bugging you. You're not feeling old (but I know why you describe it that way) you're feeling drained by all the inner resources you can't consciously utilize which are unconsciously turned against you.
First thing's first: take responsibility. You made this mess, you can unmake it. Second, no matter how emotionally experienced you may feel, there's plenty left for you. You're 19. Your life isn't over. Your current feelings don't reflect reality. Third, try to look beyond this. Form an image of your ideal self and place it somewhere in the future. What would that look like? Demonstrate to yourself that you can indeed have a full life. If you persist, that should invigorate you.