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Old 08-20-2009, 01:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
Plays With Life
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Sitting by the fire at the Inn of the Last Home
Posts: 5,799
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My personal experience: I ended my relationship with all of my blood family some time ago. I struggled with the drive to do it for many years, then finally just did it. I felt much better afterwards. I never had any desire to exist as "a part of" the family, or any family for that matter. If I met those people on the street I would not have chosen to maintain a relationship with them. I don't have a problem ending a relationship if I don't want a person in my life; but that family-construct concept motivated me to keep people in my life who I didn't want in my life. Dropping that whole family-obligation concept freed me up to improve my life.

My perspective: I question the usefulness of the family concept generally. It includes "ownership", or at least "directive capacity" over children by one or two specific adults, which seems odd to me. It includes "family obligation", which a) motivates people to do things they don't want to do and to remain in situations that cause them distress; and b) promotes an elitist view of yourself and "your kin" over and above every other person on the planet in your mind. ie, you consider your family "more important" than other people. "Family is the most important thing in the world". I reckon this supports some undesirable situations in the world. (I have the same discomfort with the "nationality" concept, btw).
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