Quote:
Originally Posted by hotwired 
Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)
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A. In my opinion a good course of action to take is to remind yourself that you are not a bad person, that you are a good person that did a "bad" thing. I know this seems elementary, but I think its fundamental. Consider that the real guilt is in thinking that you will repeat these actions in the future. By having a positive outlook and analyzing your paradigm to see why you behaved this way in the past you can prevent this from happening in the present.
As far as the speaking sharply to your wife. Maybe all it is, is a habit that was formed. A certain way of communicating that became common place. Break the pattern. If Anthony Robbins was your life coach and you told him to help you with this problem, I think he would just SLAP you when he heard you yell at your wife. This may sound crude, but the negative feelings you get from that slap will trigger your brain to stop next time you want to yell. This may sound even more crude, but next time you do yell, step into a private place and slap yourself, hard. Make that a habit and we'll see how long your negative action persists.
You seem like a good guy since you're worried about doing such things and because you want to work on it. I hope the system is of use to you.