First of all, let me say how sorry I am that you are experiencing these feelings. I can identify because I have struggled with these types of issues for a long time. I know all the guilt and worry can be painful and draining. After therapy and medication off and on most of my adult life, over the last few months, I have been trying different techniques to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings, and I have had some success. In fact, I’ve had more success than I ever had before. I'm still in therapy, but I am not on medication at the moment. So, there is hope.
Q. How can we erase or reduce past karma? I've heard that we must pay our karmic debts. Does this mean, literally, that if I sewed "100 lbs of misery" in my past, that I must also endure "100 lbs" back or am I being too literal??
A. My understanding of paying karmic debts is that your spirit pays them with each life that it lives, not necessarily all in one lifetime. I’m not sure I believe all that.
Q. what are some ways of tackling some really persistent negative thoughts and daydreams. (bad things happening to people you love, doing things you know you would never that would wreck your life, etc.)
A. If they are persistent and upsetting, you may need therapy and medication. You can try meditation. I’m not very good at it yet, but it is effective in disciplining your mind. There are also therapeutic techniques, like cognitive-behavioral therapy, that can reduce obsessive or depressive thoughts. With cognitive therapy, you would learn to recognize and change faulty thinking patterns. It’s not about positive thinking or thinking happy thoughts. It's a way to gain control over racing, repetitive thoughts that often feed or trigger anxiety. Here are some websites explaining this type of therapy:
http://www.academyofct.org/Library/InfoManage/Guide.asp?FolderID=1001&SessionID={BFBE114A-41E8-44A2-A9C9-28C343D1467F}
What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy? Mental Help Net - Psychological Self-Tools - Online Self-Help Book
Q. Sometimes it feels selfish to focus on feeling good (per the advice of all "LOA" proponents) and I get panicky thinking that perhaps I'm forgetting something as a father, husband, etc.. Any thoughts?
A. I’m not sure what you mean here, but I’ll take a stab. I don’t see feeling good as separate from being a responsible father or husband. It’s not either/or. You can still feel happiness and honor your responsibilities. In fact, you could feel happiness because you honor your responsibilities. I know that the proponents of LOA focus on getting the expensive car and house and lots of money, lots of material wealth, but my understanding of LOA is that at the heart of it is gratitude, forgiveness of others and yourself, unconditional love, and compassion. It’s not just about material wealth; it’s also about emotional and spiritual wealth. For example, if you love your wife and children unconditionally, LOA says that they will love you unconditionally. And that would presumably make you feel good. Voila! Now, if your problem is that you don't feel that you deserve to feel good, then forgiving yourself would be a step in helping you to get over that.
Q. If I'm feeling sh***y about something I did, what's the highest course? I don't want to ignore it. I mean, I want to make sure I take whatever steps I can to learn from it and move on, but I don't want to get stuck in guilt, remorse and fear. (i.e. spoke sharply to my wife, or even something a year or more in the past)
A. I’ve found that it helps to remember that we are all imperfect people. We all make mistakes. Every one of us. You’re not alone. Again, meditation helps. Another thing is to delve deep into your actions, guilt, insecurities, and fears, as painful as that may be, and try to figure out what was behind them, realize that you still have value as a person, and forgive and love yourself unconditionally. It’s very difficult, but it can be done. Just because you did some things that you regret doesn’t mean that you are a bad person.
Here are some websites that may help:
The tools for personal growth are helpful in this one
Coping.org, Tools for coping with life's stressors Personal Growth Course - 'The Positive Approach' Joe Vitale Is "Mr. Fire" for Copywriting, Promotion, and Marketing Consulting A Simple Way to Understand Hooponopono
I hope this helps. I’m sure others will have helpful suggestions as well. I think being in this forum is a step in the right direction.
Good luck in your journey.