It's smart NOT to have kids when you can't afford to have them. Having kids when you are financially secure (not millionaire but secure) is tough to begin with and is ten times worse when you have to worry about whether or not you can afford jackets for your kids during the winter. That type of stress will bend and often times break the relationship you had with someone you love.
It could be that the idea of not being able to have kids now makes you feel guilty and causes you to pull away from her but I don't think that's the case. It seems that you know she is not the one that you want to be with. On paper she seems like a great girl but she still doesn't fully do it for you.
Most people in this situation would just settle and go on pretending that things are great and at times they will be but you will always find yourself feeling a bit off. You might be able to ignore the 'confused' feelings with kids, a house and a dog but eventually they will catch up to you.
If have great doubts about her (to the point where you are on this forum asking for help) then it's not fair to her or you to continue the relationship. It seems like you both have a great friendship but not much of a sexual relationship.
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