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Originally Posted by wolfgang  So there's the idea that a guy has to make a move before the girl puts him in the friend catagory. That sounds like PUA stuff to me, of the not so good kind. If a girl is interested and the guy doesn't make a move, she might just be in the same boat - wondering when he's going to ask her or trying to figure out how to ask him. So the two are just being friends until such time as either of them speak up. Also, once two find each other and are intersted to be romantic or whatever you call it, a friendship is like a foundation. It's not like lovers aren't also friends in the best sense. |
I understand where you are coming from, and it may seem like a negative concept since the PUA community recognizes it, but it's really society who instills the idea that the guy has to make the first move, and because of all those crappy sitcoms we all watched when we were kids where the nervous high school guy asks the girl to the dance, we subconciously think this is the way it has to go down.
One may have noble ideas in their head how they want to become friends first, but, unless you let the other person know, they might be moving on mentally, as in this case. Most of the time, girls do not make the move. I don't blame them, because like I said above, it's conditioning, and most of the time, if a girl is interested in a guy, she will try to make it blatantly obvious, and if he doesn't pick up these hints, then she feels frusterated. Most girls have trouble being direct, even if they are frusterated, because that would be going against conditioning, and that's why guys always hear them complain about how there are no good men.
It's nobodys fault really, but I would say that for men who often wind up in the friend zone, watch for signals and go for it earlier.
Erock