If I dance salsa with a woman I have the power about how she will move because I lead her.
But I don't exert force and therefore I'm not controlling my partner.
I'm also doing more than just influencing because I have a clear intention about how she should move.
Manipulation is influence, leadership or control that you are conscious of that happens outside the awareness of the person you are interacting with.
I have no problem with manipulation when you have good intentions.
In most cases control isn't good. It can however be appropriate as a last resort when someone's actions harm other people or he would harm himself irreparably.
It's also worth pointing out that control only happen when you don't have enough power to do something else and the energy you exert to control someone reduces your power.
As the saying goes:
If you have to use your power you don't had any in the first place.
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