Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - How do you handle people who don't take you seriously?

Alexjstrandberg · 08-16-2009, 01:24 PM

Early on in my life I made a decision to live the life that I wanted to live regardless of how other people felt about it.

If on the other hand I lived for others and what they wanted to do I would end up very miserable and unhappy. Since people rarely want to be around miserable people (unless they are miserable themselves) they would want to be around me less and less if I altered my personality. They would be "happy" for a little while but my incongruence, pretending and being miserable would cause them to leave me or withdraw a great deal. It's ironic that you tried to please them and trying to please them resulted in you loosing them.

Understand that no matter what title a person holds (friend, mother, father etc.) they are still people with judgments and fears. They might not understand or unconditionally love what you do. If you accept this than it will be much easier dealing with their reactions. The more you expect people to accept it the more frustration will come into your life. Some people need further understanding to come to accept it but for most this will offer little to no help.

Trust in abundance

There are a good bit of people who will judge or even laugh in your face about your interests, there are a lot of people who would not only accept it but encourage it. These are the people you will feel a deeper connection with and have a far more healthier relationship with-find these people.

You still feel vulnerable revealing this part of yourself to others. Take this and use it as an opportunity to stop caring what other people think of you and become more congruent. This problem arises because of fear, whatever that fear may be, and you can learn how to eliminate this fear by entering situations that you talked about.

08-16-2009, 01:24 PM	#24 (permalink)
Alexjstrandberg Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 300	Early on in my life I made a decision to live the life that I wanted to live regardless of how other people felt about it. If on the other hand I lived for others and what they wanted to do I would end up very miserable and unhappy. Since people rarely want to be around miserable people (unless they are miserable themselves) they would want to be around me less and less if I altered my personality. They would be "happy" for a little while but my incongruence, pretending and being miserable would cause them to leave me or withdraw a great deal. It's ironic that you tried to please them and trying to please them resulted in you loosing them. Understand that no matter what title a person holds (friend, mother, father etc.) they are still people with judgments and fears. They might not understand or unconditionally love what you do. If you accept this than it will be much easier dealing with their reactions. The more you expect people to accept it the more frustration will come into your life. Some people need further understanding to come to accept it but for most this will offer little to no help. Trust in abundance There are a good bit of people who will judge or even laugh in your face about your interests, there are a lot of people who would not only accept it but encourage it. These are the people you will feel a deeper connection with and have a far more healthier relationship with-find these people. You still feel vulnerable revealing this part of yourself to others. Take this and use it as an opportunity to stop caring what other people think of you and become more congruent. This problem arises because of fear, whatever that fear may be, and you can learn how to eliminate this fear by entering situations that you talked about.