Quote:
Originally Posted by Viceguy  I'm not quite sure what I am afraid of but yes I feel great fear when I think about breaking it off.
We've only been here for three months now so that is the reason she hasn't got a job, learned the language or really made friends here yet. She'll definitely get there if she stays in the country for a few more months.
I know I should have broken it up a long time ago and I know the right thing to do is to break it up now. Even so I can't bring myself to do it. It's not just fear (although it is that too) but also the feeling that I really want the relationship to be able to work. |
This is why I don't advocate shacking up. Now, you've placed Beta in this really impossible situation. You've greatly limited her choices, and you are also not giving her a chance to accept you for who you really are. Has it ever occurred to you that her sexual boundaries may be tied up in something that could be reversed? I mean, what if she has misconceptions about sex? That could change. What if she is just inexperienced sexually? What if she believes it's not ladylike? Or, what if she isn't being turned all the way on mentally by you? That, also, could change.
Just because Anne is a freak, doesn't make her your soulmate. I believe you feel lust for her. But, she's an admitted rogue. Look at how she has treated her "love" of four years. She cannot give to you what Beta gives to you....and you believe Beta cannot give to you what you THINK Anne can give to you. I wouldn't gamble on a whim like that.
Case in point....I know a girl....who "THOUGHT" she was secure in her sexuality. "Thought" she was pretty decent in bed. "Believed" she was experienced. And, it wasn't until she met and fell in love with a boy....who literally "turned her out". And, trust me, it took four years....and they are still exploring and growing. And, there are still things he wants to do that she doesn't know about. And, there are many, MANY things that she never knew she would enjoy until he, gently loved her into exploring them...and I'm just referring to sex between the two of them....there's so much to explore....and her mind has opened gradually over time and she's realized that he opened up her senses in wonderful ways.
But, he was patient...he was open....he was gentle....he was consistent and persistent but in a respectful way.....and it worked....oh if more men would seek to make love to the MIND of their woman, they would discover an abundance of passion and openness and adventure sexually with her. But, because men do not understand that a woman's largest sex organ is her brain....and they are only worried about their own sexual fulfillment, then they never get it...feel unfulfilled and start looking elsewhere for what could be found at home.
You could gamble on great sex with a stranger who you don't love and who has absolutely no capacity for loyalty and committment or you could gamble on growing with a woman you love whom you know you have a place in her heart that is authentic. Also, keep this in mind, if you are not up to the challenge of mining out of Beta all of the wonderful things that have been placed in her for you, then you should allow her to be free so that a man who has enough patience and creativity and love for her can bring out of her a very rich and fulfilling intimacy. Because, trust me....as a woman, I can tell you, it's in all of us....it just takes the right combination to bring it out.