[loveandfear]

Hi everyone,

ive realised im sitting at home on a friday evening, im bored, i wish i was out with my friends doing something, but i dont think any of my friends are up to much tonight (i havent bothered to ask- i always wait for them to approach me), so ive decided to sit and watch the television tonight, by myself. and its just so boring basically, and ive realised i dont really feel that content when im on my own, i dont really know what i should be doing, but i get frustrated im not doing anything....

i dont really have any striking passions or things i do when im on my own, im not someone who sits down and reads a lot, i dont play video games, i like being around people but clearly on a night like tonight i feel left lost and stranded. i think the reason is i never take the initiative and ask other people out, i always wait to be invited, but that's to do with my own insecurity about people rejecting me, so i rarely ask.....

i also have stopped drinking alcohol since 1 month 1/2 ago (which has been great for my mind and body) but i feel concious of the fact that people are less inclined to go out when there isnt alcohol involved......or im at least scared of asking anyone if they just want to go out for a non-alcoholic drink- especially on a friday night...

does anyone have any suggestions/advice/ reflections for what i should do...

...how do i find something i can enjoy by myself to fill these bored hours...or how do i find people i want to spend time with so i dont feel bored and alone.....

or should i be dealing with the issue of 'aloneness' and start to appreciate and enjoy my alone time....because at the moment i hate it and i feel bored and annoyed at myself.

loveandfear