Quote:
Originally Posted by Kean  Neediness is accused as a potential turn-off when dating and mating, especially if guys show it.
What I often read on self-help blogs, books and articles, seduction guides, etc. including those on this community and similar ones (including Alex Strandberg "Inner Game Reframe", of which I wrote an extensive critique about here: Seduction vs Directness - the problem of human diversity ), seems to point out that even trying to understand the other persons' standpoint and tastes - or at least being open-minded towards it instead of always putting our own needs first - is wrong and is a turn-off.
Do you think it men can be perceived as needy when they try to listen to a woman or even act with curiosity about a womans' tastes, values and lifestyle? |
No interest telegraphs an obnoxious person who only cares about himself,
too much interest without saying anything about himself telegraphs that the guy has no life, and is needy..
So I guess it's a matter of finding the right middle ground.. but I don't think there is a formula for it.. Just do what feels natural, and if you are needy you'll appear needy.. and if you're not needy then you won't appear needy (I think)