| | Desiring
I have a lot of trouble with this one too. What I actually desire is more confidence and creativity. There is so much negative talk in there, my head, that it is hard to see the times I am feeling confident or creative and to be grateful for them.
I have not always been like this, but a serious of misfortunes and misteps kind of broke my spirit and led me to a long period of inactivity.
This period of inactivity took a lot of material things from me, but what bothers me the most is that I do not feel as capable, confident, or creative as I once did to do something about it.
For example, snowboarding is something that at one time I was completely confident doing. I taught snowboarding. I could ride any part of the mountain. I could do backflips on my snowboard, 720's, ride all different styles and terrains. After letting my skills go for a couple of years, for a plethora of reasons (all of them probably bad, but nonetheless) it is very disheartening to see where I am.
My skills have detiorated and that stinks, but what really gets to me is not that I can't do the things I used to do, but that not being able to do them takes away a creative outlet and creative expression of myself from me.
Sorry if that background was unnecessary, but here is my question. (I think I kind of already know the answer, but possibly somebody could help me put my intellecual knowledge into practice.)
Is the process of recapturing and cultivating certain states of mind the same as the process for attracting material items?
I assume that if I want to feel more creative, confident, and capable the first step would be to feel gratitude for the times, no matter how small, that I do feel these states of mind. How do I do this? How do I recognize when I am in these states? What do I do to show my gratitude?
I have to admit I actually avoid areas of my life that I was able to at one time most greatly express and feel good about myself, because it seems so discouraging how my skills and ability for expression have diminished. I know that this method is not getting me anywhere.
I apologize for being a 'woe is me,' and me me me poster, but hey I would love to have the positive, selfless attitude of some of the people I have seen on this forum I'm just not there yet.