Spot on Indiana. Probably best advice on relationships I've read in a long time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by loveandfear 
i just would really appreciate some wise words on love, ive read a lot of self-help books and books about love and relationships, but its good hearing of actual experiences other people have had and how they managed to move forwards....
im sorry for this really long message.....i look forward to your responses...
love to you all.
loveandfear
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Obviously you are just filled with guilt and regret for having been a jerk to someone that was only good to you. This may sound cliche, but you really need to work on forgiving yourself and moving on. You could even call her and apologize. Not so that she can take you back, but for your own healing.
Put an end to your pity-party. Take that guilt you feel and harness it into love and caring so that you are ready when the next opportunity hits. To me you are crying over spilt milk. You were an ******* at one point, there's always a price to be paid. Every action has a consequence. Accept the consequences of your past jerk-ness and do better next time. But sitting around moping over "lost love" only causes to reinforce what a victim you are of your own stupid actions. Get over her. There are always people we can love deeper if we let ourselves. Or you can continue to wallow in guilt. It's always a choice.