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MagicalRealist · 08-06-2009, 08:47 PM

I have to be attracted to the guy in question--otherwise, forget it.

But what constitutes "attractiveness" for me isn't some Hollywood ideal. No, I'm not going to turn down Hugh Jackman (in the unlikely event he shows up, lost and lonely and seeking companionship, on my doorstep), but truthfully, most of the men I date wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive by any stretch of the imagination. Some of them have been in the "What the hell is someone like her doing dating him?" category, which amuses me because I enjoy knowing a good thing when I see it, even if others can't. Especially if others can't.

In fact, I rarely find a conventionally good-looking man attractive, especially after I've had a chance to talk to him for five minutes. Too many good-looking men (and women, too) turn out to be shallow and boring--since they often get what they want simply for being pretty, why bother developing oneself?

The common qualities among all the men I've found attractive are confidence, a good sense of humor (especially about themselves), a positive attitude toward life, a sense of adventure, genuine curiosity about the world around them (whether they are intellectuals or not), and kindness and consideration toward other people (that goes beyond mere manners).

So I'm not put off by a guy's looks if he has all the genuinely attractive personal qualities I like. In fact, I can find a big nose or a crooked grin or the fact that he's skinny endearing--because it's an intrinsic part of that specific person, who I care for.

Appearances, however? I do pay attention to those. No matter what he looks like, a man will never be attractive to me if he doesn't take some pride in his appearance, take reasonably decent care of his body, and have excellent hygeine. He doesn't have to hit the gym, but he does have to have the self-respect to dress himself well, get decent haircuts, and not let himself get grossly fat or abuse his body with bad habits and a crap diet.

08-06-2009, 08:47 PM	#15 (permalink)
MagicalRealist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 342	I have to be attracted to the guy in question--otherwise, forget it. But what constitutes "attractiveness" for me isn't some Hollywood ideal. No, I'm not going to turn down Hugh Jackman (in the unlikely event he shows up, lost and lonely and seeking companionship, on my doorstep), but truthfully, most of the men I date wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive by any stretch of the imagination. Some of them have been in the "What the hell is someone like her doing dating him?" category, which amuses me because I enjoy knowing a good thing when I see it, even if others can't. Especially if others can't. In fact, I rarely find a conventionally good-looking man attractive, especially after I've had a chance to talk to him for five minutes. Too many good-looking men (and women, too) turn out to be shallow and boring--since they often get what they want simply for being pretty, why bother developing oneself? The common qualities among all the men I've found attractive are confidence, a good sense of humor (especially about themselves), a positive attitude toward life, a sense of adventure, genuine curiosity about the world around them (whether they are intellectuals or not), and kindness and consideration toward other people (that goes beyond mere manners). So I'm not put off by a guy's looks if he has all the genuinely attractive personal qualities I like. In fact, I can find a big nose or a crooked grin or the fact that he's skinny endearing--because it's an intrinsic part of that specific person, who I care for. Appearances, however? I do pay attention to those. No matter what he looks like, a man will never be attractive to me if he doesn't take some pride in his appearance, take reasonably decent care of his body, and have excellent hygeine. He doesn't have to hit the gym, but he does have to have the self-respect to dress himself well, get decent haircuts, and not let himself get grossly fat or abuse his body with bad habits and a crap diet.