One more thing, I just remembered. My Mother used to say that ignorance is bliss. Once, I was questioning something about my husband and she told me not to pry. She said to keep on being the best wife I could be and if he was doing something, it would come out eventually. That he would hang himself basically. Just makes me think that through my Dad's affairs, maybe in a hindsight prospective, she wished maybe she didnt know about it. Because in the end, they stayed together.
I think, for your Mom, confront the girl, run her off.
Keep us posted and good luck!
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