annah, you ARE still suffering from your Mom's death. Your post above sounds like you're blaming yourself for it. You mother decided for her own reasons to kill herself, it wasn't about you! Even if she had issues with you, they were HER issues, not yours. You can try using EFT (check my website) to work through your feelings, and start moving on. Or others here will probably recommend other techniques. She wanted you to be happy, so give it a shot for her.
I wish you joy, peace and love