Quote:
Originally Posted by ns123  True generosity needs no reciprocation - because if you do, what you're really doing is manipulation. You want to do something "generous" but you want something in return (reciprocation). |
This implies that the guy wasn't being truly generous by lending people money, because he expected repayments.
I don't think this is right. I think it is reasonable and very sensible to expect repayments. Apart from anything, people don't respect free money anyway, and you won't really be helping them in any non-financial way. The generosity comes not from the fact that he gave them money, but from the fact that he allowed himself to trust them despite their clear and obvious existing financial difficulties. He didn't expect to be repaid with similar generous and trusting gestures, he simply wanted his money back. I don't think that it is a manipulative move to temporarily give somebody a chance to work themselves out of a pit, and eventually want to retract that help.
The trouble is that sometimes it's not that simple.
I owe my Dad a very large sum of money and have done for a long time. I have repaid none of it. He has never pushed me to repay it by a particular time, merely "whenever I can." I have rewarded his generosity by repaying not a penny thus far. I guess I am one of Arthur's selfish friends. However, the issue is not that I don't want to repay him - I simply cannot. I am unemployed, and I have numerous other and more pressing debts. The loan company keep threatening to send the bailiffs round, the bank keep ringing me to demand greater and greater fees for my overdraft problems, and it's all I can do to keep those organisations at bay with my meagre unemployment benefits. At least the Bank of Dad doesn't charge me interest or fees. I really do want to pay him back someday, but at the moment it might as well be sometime never. Right now, though, I'm totally taking advantage of him, and I can't help it. I had no choice but to accept his loan - I was on the verge of being kicked out of my house and being made homeless. What is a good person to do?
Food for thought, anyway...