I have a little girl who is 2 years and 10 months old, and a little boy who is 10months old. My little girl is deaf and has recently had cochlear implant surgery to restore her hearing. That creates even more of a challenge because he definately requires so much extra time and effort because we have to teach her how to hear and talk daily.
I have wrestled with this problem for a long time because you don't have the time to read, plan, meditate, pray, etc. that you would normally have. It is definately hard to juggle.
A couple of things that I am now doing that work for me are:
1. I stay at work for an extra 45 min- 1 hour after my work is done and I read, meditate, review goals and other things. If you can't stay at work, then maybe you could stop at the library or a park on your way home for an hour.
2. After I put them to bed, I take the next 30 minutes for myself to also dedicate to personal development. After I have spent that time, then my wife and I get to spend quality time together
The thing that would be the best of all, would be to wake up an hour and a half before the rest of the house. Then, you are not infringing on family time, time with your wife or anyone else. It is like free time. However, I have been trying to do this with very, very limited success for a long time.
Just my .02
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