David,
Good luck with this, some of those fears instilled into us in childhood manage to keep biting us even when we think we've moved on. I was lucky that my Christian faith taught the idea of "permanent salvation", that after believing in JC once, you can never lose your salvation, so it freed me a bit to move away from the path without really having to worry about hell. But there are other aspects I still struggle with. For instance the teaching that psychics are demon posessed may still be limiting my psychic development. And I was taught that taking communion while being in opposition to God could cause sickness or death, and I haven't done that since my deconversion (good word, by the way), and that was about 10 years ago now.
I think something that's been helping me lately is moving actively into new belief systems. For me, being agnostic wasn't powerful enough to overcome the old fears, it left too much of a spiritual void. Tony Robbins says (and I'm paraphrasing) that the value of a belief isn't whether it's true or not but how empowering it is. So I would suggest that you pick a new belief system that resonates with you and you feel would be empowering in your life and really embrace it for a while. When you begin to see evidence that it is true (which you will, because we see what we look for) you will be able to more fully put your old belief system behind you.
__________________
~Lauxa~
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