I've been in a relationship with a Borderliner and also did everything I could to help her with my the same result as you. For me, I think some of the problems in that relationship stemmed from low self-esteem - I had a hard time setting boundaries and set her needs above my own.
Also, I think I had the belief that somehow a "flawed" girl was all I could aspire to having a relationship with because I wasn't interesting enough, attractive enough or whatever to attract a healthy girl. Luckily, I don't think that anymore.. maybe you're dealing with some of the same issues?
One thing's for sure - I'm never dating a Borderliner again. That's just a perfect recipe for disaster and suffering.
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