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elainevdw · 02-07-2007, 06:45 PM

As a girl who's been in that position several times, I want to assure you that, if this girl is anything like me, she'll be very flattered and initially embarrassed, but won't let it ruin your friendship.

You might find that she returns your romantic feelings, but I don't think that's very likely. Girls (most people, really) are all about the status quo. If you are friends, she will want to maintain that friendship. On the disappointing side, that means she probably won't want to date you, but on the positive side, that means that she will definitely want to keep you as her friend.

Definitely tell her, though. That way, she won't bitch about you acting all weird after she's just regaled you with her last make-out session with one of your buddies. She'll know how to not hurt your feelings, and she'll know not to accidentally lead you on.

In my opinion, whether they're aware of it or not, girls like being friends with guys who have crushes on them, because they like the attention. It's a sad state when the girl doesn't realize that the guy likes her, and the guy is too shy/scared to say anything, though, because it can result in misunderstandings and sore feelings.

In a girl, not recognizing a crush is usually a sign of inexperience. I didn't realize my high school guy friends liked me until I was well into college and started dating. I was like, "OH. That's what was going on." And it wasn't until college that some of my guy friends who liked me started talking to me about it. One guy got super pissed at me when I told him that I wasn't interested, and we didn't talk until he got married a few years later, unfortunately. But my other guy friends and I joked about it a little and went on with our lives. And now, even if the guy doesn't want to say anything to me, I usually recognize it and am careful not to lead him on. That way, if he wants to be friends with me knowing that I'm not interested in romance, it's an honest friendship from the get-go.

Anyway, I hope that helps. The bottom line is, tell her, and don't be afraid that she's going to disown you as her friend! (If she does... it's probably just another sign of inexperience, and I'm sure she'll come around about it sooner rather than later.)

02-07-2007, 06:45 PM	#12 (permalink)
elainevdw Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Reno/Tahoe, NV, USA Posts: 375	As a girl who's been in that position several times, I want to assure you that, if this girl is anything like me, she'll be very flattered and initially embarrassed, but won't let it ruin your friendship. You might find that she returns your romantic feelings, but I don't think that's very likely. Girls (most people, really) are all about the status quo. If you are friends, she will want to maintain that friendship. On the disappointing side, that means she probably won't want to date you, but on the positive side, that means that she will definitely want to keep you as her friend. Definitely tell her, though. That way, she won't bitch about you acting all weird after she's just regaled you with her last make-out session with one of your buddies. She'll know how to not hurt your feelings, and she'll know not to accidentally lead you on. In my opinion, whether they're aware of it or not, girls like being friends with guys who have crushes on them, because they like the attention. It's a sad state when the girl doesn't realize that the guy likes her, and the guy is too shy/scared to say anything, though, because it can result in misunderstandings and sore feelings. In a girl, not recognizing a crush is usually a sign of inexperience. I didn't realize my high school guy friends liked me until I was well into college and started dating. I was like, "OH. That's what was going on." And it wasn't until college that some of my guy friends who liked me started talking to me about it. One guy got super pissed at me when I told him that I wasn't interested, and we didn't talk until he got married a few years later, unfortunately. But my other guy friends and I joked about it a little and went on with our lives. And now, even if the guy doesn't want to say anything to me, I usually recognize it and am careful not to lead him on. That way, if he wants to be friends with me knowing that I'm not interested in romance, it's an honest friendship from the get-go. Anyway, I hope that helps. The bottom line is, tell her, and don't be afraid that she's going to disown you as her friend! (If she does... it's probably just another sign of inexperience, and I'm sure she'll come around about it sooner rather than later.) __________________ ~ Elaine.