The problem has little to do with either your ex or the other guy. It has more to do with you, because you do not know what you are looking for.
Are you searching for a committed relation with marriage or without marriage?
What do you want in a relationship? As soon as you can define that, everything will clear up, as then you will see which one of these guys fits snugly into the mold.
Your description seems to indicate that you have much uncertainly and don’t really know what you are looking for.
Try to clear it up to yourself and then see which of the guys is best suited. Then pursue a relationship.
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