Quote:
Originally Posted by MovieFanUK  Thanks for your reply JSB. It's a bit strange I know she wants to get married and live with me but apart from that I don't really know what her hopes and dreams are. |
Have you asked her?
Why not take her out for diner in a nice quiet romantic restaurant, where you talk only about her. Or better said... you only let her talk. Resolve to only ask questions, to not comment on what she is saying or offering your own opinion. Keep the conversation going with "hmmm" "ah" "ok", that kind of noices.
Donīt jump right into it, start by asking about her day, or something very commen to talk about in your relationship.
Some questions you could ask:
- How did you end up doing what you were doing (work wise)?
- What job you had in the past did you like the most? Why is that?
- If you could go back, would you have studied something else? What would you have studied? What did you like most about what you studied?
- If money and training are no issue, what would your job be?
- What is your happiest memory?
- What makes that a happy memory?
- How would you like your life to be in 5 years? And in 10?
- When you are 80 and looking back on your life, what would you like to have done?
- If you could do anything you wanted to, what would you like to do?
- etc. etc.
As you can see, I think it is best to start with easier questions, about work, and slowly move up to more personal issues. This time, only talk about happy things, hopes dreams etc. For example, if you know that she doesnīt like her job, or her studie, donīt ask those questions. They are for a later stage, when you are more comfortable talking about these things.
When she answers with simple answers, continue to ask followup questions. Ask, why exactly that, how come etc. Most importantly, be quiet, let her answer and really listen to her.
This excersise will really let you get to know her, her dreams and her hopes. donīt try to control the conversation to fix all the questions on the list. Just see where it goes. If you only talk about work this time that is ok. You can take as long as you need talking about this. One date, or 100 dates... it doesnīt matter.
Good luck!