It's unfortunate that he couldn't tamper and control his generosity, and put himself first.
People are very afraid to be selfish because it earns a bad rap. What's the real definition of being selfish? Caring about yourself.
I'm generous with people too - my time, my attention, my empathy, and I even drive them around places more than I should (not like give them rides to doctors but wherever we hang out I drive us). The key is not to let it consume you and put your own needs under everyone else's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanemon  At this point, Arthur’s said to me, he has worked through the bitterness and simply accepts that “that was how it went” and “that is how people can be”. But he still likes and enjoys people. He says, though, that he does not know how to look at generosity as a quality in people, and does not know quite whether to appreciate it in himself.
I have to admit that I didn’t really know how to respond. |
I can see why you'd be at a loss for words at that. Nothing "just happened" - he let loose and lost control. In today's society, when people have unfortunate things happen to them like being stuck on the side of a road and everyone passing by, or people not holding doors open when they're in a rush, or various, various things, you hear backlashes like "people only care about themselves." It takes wisdom and life experience to understand that your friend Arthur - although on an exaggerated scale - has a genuine, golden trait of caring about others and appreciating them. But the key is balance.
I think his problem is that he's not seeing what truly happened, he's not seeing his responsibility for it, and as a result, he distorts his perspective and opinion on generosity itself, rather than seeing his part in it. It's a good thing to have and he's not a bad person, but he needs to be encouraged to care a little bit more about himself and learn how to properly use generosity rather than misunderstand it.