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Tanemon · 07-31-2009, 11:34 PM

I have an older friend of spiritual leaning, and he’s still generous. He strikes everybody as a kind, radiant, and warm person, and as I’ve gotten to know him better, I’ve learned more about his personal path in life to this point.

But this has been his problem – generosity. When he was young, he inherited a bit of money. It allowed him, he said, to experiment in life. Arthur was able to meet all sorts of people, try out different kinds of work and learn skills. He says he had a natural sympathy for his fellow humans, and that within about five years most of his inheritance was gone. A lot of it, he says, went to loans he made that were not repaid, and to a few “gifts” to noble projects - while he spent some on a car, a small cheap cottage, some tools. Arthur says almost nobody sought to repay him, though one or two did. But he says he had expected a circle of mutual support and kindness was going to develop in the community he lived in.

Arthur says that he then went through some tough economic times, and sometimes felt bitter about the people he’d loaned or given money to who later seemed to avoid him. He focused through the years in being responsible for his wife, his child by his first marriage, and himself.

A couple people I’ve met who knew Arthur in the old days pretty much tell the same story about all these things, so I’ve tended to believe what he’s told me.

At this point, Arthur’s said to me, he has worked through the bitterness and simply accepts that “that was how it went” and “that is how people can be”. But he still likes and enjoys people. He says, though, that he does not know how to look at generosity as a quality in people, and does not know quite whether to appreciate it in himself.

I have to admit that I didn’t really know how to respond. In all honesty, I appreciate Arthur’s good qualities, including warmth and generosity. But I can see how it kind of got him into some difficult stuff. And, like most people, I too have experienced a fair amount of disappointment and a lot of human selfishness or disregard.

So I’m putting this out there for comment, because I find it all a bit confusing.

07-31-2009, 11:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tanemon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Western Canada Posts: 560	The problem of generosity I have an older friend of spiritual leaning, and he’s still generous. He strikes everybody as a kind, radiant, and warm person, and as I’ve gotten to know him better, I’ve learned more about his personal path in life to this point. But this has been his problem – generosity. When he was young, he inherited a bit of money. It allowed him, he said, to experiment in life. Arthur was able to meet all sorts of people, try out different kinds of work and learn skills. He says he had a natural sympathy for his fellow humans, and that within about five years most of his inheritance was gone. A lot of it, he says, went to loans he made that were not repaid, and to a few “gifts” to noble projects - while he spent some on a car, a small cheap cottage, some tools. Arthur says almost nobody sought to repay him, though one or two did. But he says he had expected a circle of mutual support and kindness was going to develop in the community he lived in. Arthur says that he then went through some tough economic times, and sometimes felt bitter about the people he’d loaned or given money to who later seemed to avoid him. He focused through the years in being responsible for his wife, his child by his first marriage, and himself. A couple people I’ve met who knew Arthur in the old days pretty much tell the same story about all these things, so I’ve tended to believe what he’s told me. At this point, Arthur’s said to me, he has worked through the bitterness and simply accepts that “that was how it went” and “that is how people can be”. But he still likes and enjoys people. He says, though, that he does not know how to look at generosity as a quality in people, and does not know quite whether to appreciate it in himself. I have to admit that I didn’t really know how to respond. In all honesty, I appreciate Arthur’s good qualities, including warmth and generosity. But I can see how it kind of got him into some difficult stuff. And, like most people, I too have experienced a fair amount of disappointment and a lot of human selfishness or disregard. So I’m putting this out there for comment, because I find it all a bit confusing.