[MovieFanUK]

I am a 39 year old man in my first long-term relationship, which has lasted almost 6 years. I feel grateful to have someone in my life, which would be lonely otherwise, and wish I could commit more fully and make more efforts to get the most out of this relationship. Sometimes though I worry about the lack of excitement and passion in our relationship, we are really great friends but I am not sure how strong the chemistry is between us. That is probably because we are both pretty shy and inhibited. It seems like I am holding something back and not giving a full effort, not feeling inspired. One time my partner said she felt I was settling in the relationship, and yet she was not settling at all. I felt really bad for her, it must feel really bad to be on the wrong end of that situation, but despite me reassuring her that was not true I wondered if there was some truth to her remark.

What sorts of things could I do to improve our relationship? One thing I can think of is to lose some weight, since I think my partner would feel more attracted if I was at my goal weight. Another would be to be more helpful with household chores which I know she would appreciate. Otherwise I am really not sure and because all my friends are socially anxious and have no partners or little relationship experience, I have no one to ask either. Please can anyone offer any advice or help. Especially it would be great to hear from someone who realised their relationship was going stale and revived it, what did you do?