Its always so difficult to watch people you care about going through struggle or pain. More so when the "right" course of action is so obvious yet they just don't see it, or for some reason cant bring themselves to choose it.
In my view, people generally embark on change when it becomes too painful to remain the way they are.
The thing is that unless people have learned and internalised the lessons they need to, they will simply repeat them and will have to suffer all over again. For this reason it is important that any intervention does not deny them these lessons - even if pain and suffering is the price that person pays for them.
Naturally, you want to share your new insights and learnings with them, but it sounds like they are not yet ready for them. My suggestion is, as the quote goes, be a well and not a fountai - i.e. be a resource available to them, for support and comfort etc, but do not try to change them. Respect their inherent potential to grow and make the right decisions when they are ready.
I did a PD course once which had a short counselling component to it, and one of the things the facilitators would always ask when one of us mentioned a similar situation to the one you describe above is: "Why do you feel need to rescue them?" It always used to irritate me because I thought "Isnt it obvious?? They need help!!" But the implication was - who are you REALLY trying to rescue? What are your REAL motivations? What feelings does their situation bring up for you?
Just something else to consider, I thought I would share those irritating questions with someone else!
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