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Old 07-30-2009, 05:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
drakecatz
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Southwest desert
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[QUOTE]
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Originally Posted by bicks View Post

Before all this, she explicitly said, "Alex, can you Not ***k up please!"
Wow! The Threat!!, and you got the furniture wet anyway didn't you!

Working on being a "yeller" is an issue for me. I think I've done really well teaching myself not to be this way. Some reasons I would yell were...

If I didn't yell, I would cry. This was the worst. Is your wife a cryer?

If I didn't yell, I wouldn't be heard. I'm soft spoken, and it used to be so important I was loud to make my point.

I used to drink. Great to fuel loud anger. Does your wife drink?

If I get angry now, I talk to myself about how I can handle the situation without yelling or name calling. It's really worked.

James81 has very good advice. Her telling you that you can't "###k it up" is unacceptable! "She better just do it herself.

Ask her why she feels the need to yell. Ask her to ask herself why she has to yell. Ask her what she thinks about her controlling behavior. But most of all, Don't stand for it! I think she is looking for you to take some control here.

Good luck!
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