[JSB]

Set reasonable boundaries. Sometime when you're not fighting, have a talk with her. Tell her that it's OK for her to be angry and express her feelings, but insist that you will no longer accept insults or abuse. (Don't take on a victim "mentality"; just decide that things need to improve.)

You might as well be up front and honest about mistakes -- she'll find out eventually. Take personal responsibility for your own mistakes/issues, but don't let her rage at you or belittle you -- focus less on feeling bad about the mistakes and more on fixing them and improving yourself.

If she goes off in the future, stick to your boundaries and calmly insist on mutually respectful behavior, even in disagreement. This is a process and may take some time to work through. All along, be sure to encourage and reward her positive behavior. (Don't get too worked up over negative behavior --- "punishing" it is just a waste of your emotional energy.)

Personally, I would end a relationship where I wasn't feeling respected and treated with a minimum of common courtesy, at least after I had done what I could to try to remedy the situation. No relationship is worth being someone else's punching bag (literal or proverbial).

She has some very intense emotional reactions, but that does not mean that her feelings and reactions need to define reality for everyone else in the world.