This is a hard topic to discuss when so much emotion is involved. Although your life is intertwined with all of your family, your mom had her own destiny to follow when she was born, and you have yours. Because most of us donít know what kind of life and lessons we agreed to before we were born, we cannot know why things happen. For all I can guess, your mom agreed to help you learn about great loss and suicide. If you believe in karma, you may have committed suicide in a past life, and she had to deal with the loss. You may have intended this into your life because you needed these lessons. But on the other hand, your mother had free will to do what she wanted with her life. I am not intending to sound cold, but you need to focus on your life, and manifesting what you want. I believe in reincarnation and I believe that your mother will be back again. I also think your mother is in a place where she can see who she truly is and who you truly are, and she is smiling.