Yes, its how much you inquire and if you try to tell them what to do.
I call a friend of mine "The Spanish Inquisitor" because whenever I mention someone or other I was talking to she asks me loads of questions about them - are they married, have they got kids, where do they live, what job they do, etc etc which have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic in hand and it may be the first time I met them!
I prefer people to get to feel comfortable with me first without bombarding them with personal questions.
Even in my line of work, I have occasionally worked with a client without knowing what gender they are - its not relevant and if they don't want me to know, they don't have to (obviously that's when we're using IM not voice methods!)
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