I would suggest, The David, that you read the
Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. Focus on section 3. The crux of the statement is the last sentence in paragraph 15. It gives what I believe to be the true perspective on how we are to achieve salvation. I guarantee you'll see a much different perspective than what you were raised with.
If you haven't closed yourself to the idea, I would suggest you visit some churches. Don't limit yourself to a specific denomination. Listen to the messages being preached there and the words being spoken. Try your best to soak everything in. In your heart, you will know when you've found one that's gotten it right. There's a lot of rich history and culture and a lot that's right about Christianity. Unfortunately, though, the Church is a human institution and there are a lot of congregations that choose to focus on the negative, like avoiding hell and preaching what you shouldn't do, rather than on being positive and praising God, thanking him and providing positive guidance.
Personally, I think hellfire and brimstone Christianity has it's place, but only in very limited respects. I think when a pastor sees a bad trend that's affecting his people, it's his duty to get up there and set the record straight. For the most part, though, the focus should be on doing what's right, not avoiding what's wrong and certainly not worrying about whether you're going to hell. If there's anything that I consider to be completely missing the point of God's salvation message, that would be it. If I'm reading between the lines properly, you seem to have OD'd on the hellfire and brimstone and it's chased you away from your faith. Perhaps God will hold those responsible for this to account for your loss of faith, but I sincerely hope you won't shut your mind to giving it another shot.