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Cristal Lilly · 07-28-2009, 11:38 AM

oh yeah, this is an insanely common thing in relationships, though usually both are doing it and neither is admitting it.

I would like to tell you that him thinking about other women as sexual stimuli is really not a problem for your relationship, and it doesn't automatically get in the way of his love or lust for you. it's just physical, like rubbing a certain place.
you ARE special to him. he didn't HAVE TO be in a relationship with you. in fact, he didn't have to be so honest with you. by doing so, I believe he exhibited not only trust in you as a partner, but also trust in your strength and maturity, aka trusting you to take it like an adult.

with that said, I can really sympathize with you. your position is also perfectly valid. see, what you're feeling now is perfectly normal with regards to how you interpreted what he said. since your gut didn't scream 'I knew it, he likes someone else better!' (always trust your gut, it always knows), I'm gonna go ahead and assume here that he IS faithful and telling you the whole truth.

then the problem is only the interpretation you give to his honesty. I would like you to use one that works better for you, for both of you. first of all, don't sell your bf short. he obviously got you, so he obviously knows how to get girls. so if he wanted to, he could get someone else. yet he chose YOU above all others. so if you don't underestimate him, that would mean you're not second place, but that you got the gold.

I would also like to advise you that during sex, you focus on your pleasure. not on his mental process or his pleasure or his whatever, but on YOU and whatever gets you steaming hot.
and lastly, as my personal advice that is not meant as an offence, I would really really like to recommend to you that you grant yourself freedom of thought and allow yourself to have sexual fantasies about all sorts of things. and people. it is actually beneficial to a relationship cause it gets you going and dragging him to bed, it is not cheating, it helps your own sexual fulfillment and it is so much fun. if it helps, you can always just imagine some other person with your bfs face.

you're a woman. a sexual godess. own it. own your first place instead of feeling threatened by thoughts. and make yourself your own first place in your head.

07-28-2009, 11:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cristal Lilly Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 93	oh yeah, this is an insanely common thing in relationships, though usually both are doing it and neither is admitting it. I would like to tell you that him thinking about other women as sexual stimuli is really not a problem for your relationship, and it doesn't automatically get in the way of his love or lust for you. it's just physical, like rubbing a certain place. you ARE special to him. he didn't HAVE TO be in a relationship with you. in fact, he didn't have to be so honest with you. by doing so, I believe he exhibited not only trust in you as a partner, but also trust in your strength and maturity, aka trusting you to take it like an adult. with that said, I can really sympathize with you. your position is also perfectly valid. see, what you're feeling now is perfectly normal with regards to how you interpreted what he said. since your gut didn't scream 'I knew it, he likes someone else better!' (always trust your gut, it always knows), I'm gonna go ahead and assume here that he IS faithful and telling you the whole truth. then the problem is only the interpretation you give to his honesty. I would like you to use one that works better for you, for both of you. first of all, don't sell your bf short. he obviously got you, so he obviously knows how to get girls. so if he wanted to, he could get someone else. yet he chose YOU above all others. so if you don't underestimate him, that would mean you're not second place, but that you got the gold. I would also like to advise you that during sex, you focus on your pleasure. not on his mental process or his pleasure or his whatever, but on YOU and whatever gets you steaming hot. and lastly, as my personal advice that is not meant as an offence, I would really really like to recommend to you that you grant yourself freedom of thought and allow yourself to have sexual fantasies about all sorts of things. and people. it is actually beneficial to a relationship cause it gets you going and dragging him to bed, it is not cheating, it helps your own sexual fulfillment and it is so much fun. if it helps, you can always just imagine some other person with your bfs face. you're a woman. a sexual godess. own it. own your first place instead of feeling threatened by thoughts. and make yourself your own first place in your head.