[wolverine]

Heya Matt. I don't know how old you are, but you sound close to my age; I just turned 21 and literally just got my driving license a week ago. I'm at university (I don't live in the US, it's not college here) as well, and living on-campus but still dependent on my parents, so I understand the journey you're on.

On the driving, I definitely understand. We have a bad family history with car accidents and then a couple of years ago our car was minorly side-swiped by a truck. It triggered something in me and I had a horrible period of serious panic attacks when I was in or around the car. However, as I figured out where I wanted to go in life, I realised that many companies and university research facilities do not let new drivers (in my country we have 3-4 years on our probationary/P license before our full license) drive company/university cars. So, I was faced with having to get my license now so that by the time I finish my course I'll almost/actually be off my P's. I was seriously panicky and in the end I took a course that was done on a privately owned mini road setup. Basically, it was like driving on normal roads but without the traffic. And then, because I don't live at home most of the time, I took lots of driving lessons. Now, I've probably paid $5000+ for all of this over the course of about a year, but for me it was worth it. You have access to a family car and supervising driver, so it shouldn't cost you anywhere near that much.

Anyway, long story, but I wanted to say that it is possible to learn how to drive even when you're a very nervous driver. I've done the accelerator-instead-of-brake trick before, in a very full carpark, nearly into the cars behind. Yes, it scared the **** out of me. I've also nearly rolled our car at 100km/hr and nearly rear-ended another car. But I didn't, and I couldn't let these very scary things take over me, because now I know enough and know how to drive well enough that these situations aren't likely to happen anymore. (At the time, you're definitely allowed to cry. I did.) You just need to get past the learning stage where you're struggling. I do recommend getting a few paid lessons and telling the instructor you're nervous, because they can teach you tricks and ways of driving that most drivers, parents included, don't really know. So it'll cost you a few hundred bucks. So what? If you drive over another curb that'll be lost anyway, so pay it now in advance to avoid too many more situations like that. And if you want to get practise driving further away from the city, maybe get your parents to drive you a bit further out (maybe 1/2 hour?) and then you do an hour or two driving there, and then they do the drive back in to the city. (City driving does suck, I agree. I live in the country at home and 2-4 lane - each way - road suburbs at uni.) Oh, and I didn't really get the chance for this, but apparently lots of short drives are better at building your skills especially at the start, because it's less stressful than longer drives. Going to the shops? Family to the movies? Sister needs dropping off at the pool, or picking up? Going around to a friends/family friends place? Ask if you can drive. Try to drive at quieter times, too.

I still rely heavily on my parents, but once I've finished university (and even during depending on what summer jobs I manage to get) it'll allow me to be easily independent. Don't dismiss your parents support quite yet. Try out for scholarships (which is my only regular source of income), rewards, support schemes etc. I recommend doing some volunteer work if you're considering those because those applications tend to love volunteer workers. Are you part of any minority group? Can you get concession or subsidy or something? Can you find a scholarship or support scheme where, if you agree to go work for a certain company after finishing your degree (generally for 1-2 years), they'll support/partically support you through the degree? Can you help more around the home so that your parents don't mind supporting you more? Do you have a credit card so that you can start building up good credit history and be more likely to be able to secure a loan for a flat/apartment/house/whatever is reasonable for your area?

If you need cash, why not consider a 'normal'/typical part-time job? Retail or supermarket or similar work doesn't pay very well, but it does pay. (I wouldn't suggest food-place work because that sounds like crap in America.) I know you're building up your writing career/resume etc, but at this stage you don't have to have everything working exactly as you expect them to work several years down the track. Sure, during/after college you may support yourself through your writing, but do you have to rely only on that now? You've mentioned that you want to find more 'wholesome activities' to fill up your days off rather than internet surfing. Can you find some activities that, after some time and effort, you'll be able to also generate money from? I'm in an outdoors club and I know a guy who now earns money helping out at some sort of outdoors course/place, which he loves.

I don't know if any of these will be any help, but they're all things I've had to consider over the last few years, so I thought that it couldn't hurt to just throw them out there and see. I'm sure there's more, but for now, good luck.


Wolverine