I am on the other side of things: I have a friend who is very nice in all the ways you describe yourself - I really like him and could imagine more with him, but I suspect he is just genuinely nice without any other intentions. It could well be that he has a similar problem like you have. At least I thought so, and I therefore avoid showing my affection for him - to the point that I might come across as rather uninterested - because I like him and therefore don't want to cause him any complications. Twisted logic, I admit, but that's (unfortunately) how I am thinking sometimes.
I wonder what jamesbiz thinks of this? Would such a behavior from the part of the girl make it easier for you to deal with her?
Now, how to reject somebody nicely: I think the best is always to mean what you say: if you tell her that she is great to be friends with, don't do it just to be nice, but really follow through and be a friend.
|