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Old 02-06-2007, 04:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
Justis
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Illinois
Posts: 11
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Default Speaking from experience.

pjgat09,

The next time she is asking you about pursuing a relationship with your friend, say to her, "I'd be happy to give you advice about my friend, but in doing so I have mixed feelings." If she asks why, then there is your window of opportunity. Lay it all on the line, and tell her how you really feel about her, and be honest with her. Even if she doesn't ask why you'd have mixed feelings, tell her how you feel.

However, this is the tough part, you have to be ready for her response and reaction, and you have to be prepared to act on the outcome. If she says that she has stronger feelings for you as well, then ask her if she'd like to go out some time.

If she says that she doesn't really have feelings for you other than friendship, then you need to be able to handle that, and live with that. Say something like, "I can respect that, and I'd still like to maintain our friendship."

The reason I stress that last part is because, this is the hardest thing to put behind you. If you have strong feelings for her, they are going to stay put probably as long as you two are friends. You may find that if she doesn't want to be more than friends, and you do, than a friendship may not be possible. Whatever you do, please do not hang on as a friend with hopes that she'll change her mind, because this can be a long, hard road. It will consume you and strain the friendship.

No matter the outcome, though, at least you'll be able to look back on it as handling it like a man, and knowing that you were honest with yourself.

Hope that helps.

Justis
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