Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - Has anyone's spouse left them when their child was only a few months old?

jwilkins · 07-24-2009, 04:09 PM

Yes, this is our first child.

We waited so long to start a family, because we were unsure about whether we wanted a family. We have been together for 10 years, married for 4, We were best friends before we started dating. We had such an active social life and a large network of friends that we would hang around with together on a regular basis. We travelled (at least one major trip a year). We just had a great time together..doing everything..We would go out together and drink beer on Friday nights.. Financial pressures when we first started out, but over the last 4 or 5 years, we've been pretty good. Not wealthy, but able to pay bills and still have leftover for fun.

All of a sudden my husband had an epiphany and said that we need to have a child now, as he was turning 35 and I was 31. It actually took a little bit of convincing on his part to make me want to start trying, but we had always had an agreeement that we would talk every 6 months about how we were both feeling about starting a family, and if either one of us decided we wanted to have a child, we would go ahead and do it.

The sex did "dry" up, and I realize this is a major factor in the intimacy department, but we had agreed that we were really going to concentrate on "us and the "intimacy" in the realationship once the baby was born and the dust started to settle. In the beginning it was my fault that our sex life deteriorated, but then as I realized the strain it was putting on our relationship, I started initiating more, and he would reject me...not all the time, but often...When I was pregnant, he told me he completely understood why I was uncomfortable having sex, and he didn't really want it either. He thought it was a little weird with our baby in my belly.

07-24-2009, 04:09 PM	#4 (permalink)
jwilkins Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 11	Yes, this is our first child. We waited so long to start a family, because we were unsure about whether we wanted a family. We have been together for 10 years, married for 4, We were best friends before we started dating. We had such an active social life and a large network of friends that we would hang around with together on a regular basis. We travelled (at least one major trip a year). We just had a great time together..doing everything..We would go out together and drink beer on Friday nights.. Financial pressures when we first started out, but over the last 4 or 5 years, we've been pretty good. Not wealthy, but able to pay bills and still have leftover for fun. All of a sudden my husband had an epiphany and said that we need to have a child now, as he was turning 35 and I was 31. It actually took a little bit of convincing on his part to make me want to start trying, but we had always had an agreeement that we would talk every 6 months about how we were both feeling about starting a family, and if either one of us decided we wanted to have a child, we would go ahead and do it. The sex did "dry" up, and I realize this is a major factor in the intimacy department, but we had agreed that we were really going to concentrate on "us and the "intimacy" in the realationship once the baby was born and the dust started to settle. In the beginning it was my fault that our sex life deteriorated, but then as I realized the strain it was putting on our relationship, I started initiating more, and he would reject me...not all the time, but often...When I was pregnant, he told me he completely understood why I was uncomfortable having sex, and he didn't really want it either. He thought it was a little weird with our baby in my belly.