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Old 02-06-2007, 01:52 AM   #8 (permalink)
elainevdw
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Reno/Tahoe, NV, USA
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Whose idea was the mediation -- Jane's, or the therapist's?

If it was the therapist's idea, I bet the mediation session will be a flop.

If it was Jane's idea, it would seem to me that Jane is over her anger (if not her pain) and wants to reconnect. However, Marie obviously isn't over her anger and is not ready or willing to reconnect. In this case, I'd be honest with Jane -- tell her that Marie is still angry, and perhaps she should let her continue to cool off. Perhaps writing a kind and simple letter, saying, "I'm sorry for our past differences, and if you would ever like to get in touch and chat, grab coffee or go see a movie with our friend DivaLion, give me a call. Yours truly, Jane." That way, if/when Marie is ready to move on, she can.

However, in situations like this, she also has to accept the possibility that Marie will never let go of her anger.

Also, I don't think you should mediate. That can put your friendship with both parties at risk. A third party, such as Jane's therapist, or a friend of yours who doesn't know Jane or Marie, should be in that role. Just warn them that it's going to be ugly.
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