In my first marriage, I had not a speck of maternal desire. After divorcing, my delightful 2nd husband made me reconsider so we tried and I had four miscarriages. I don't need to be one of those rabid fertility people, have a baby or die trying, nor is my husband so we ended up not persuing it any further. Conscious choice. More on my part than hubby but we are ok with it.
What do we do? Truthfully, I think people get in trouble BECAUSE they separate themselves by the fact that they do have kids. People with kids should be just like people without kids, as far as how they live. When you have kids and sacrifice yourselves, all you teach your kids to do is 1) be selfish kids and then 2) grow up to be adults who only know how to sacrifice to their kids. Imbalance no matter how you slice or dice it.
Because of that, our only friends who have kids are people that know the balance. Live the balance. Live normal lives despite the fact that they have procreated. Kid-centric people have no place in our lives. Frankly, they are dead boring and can only relate to other kid-centric people, which luckily for them, there are billions.
So the short answer is: Anything I damn well please.
Jennifer
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