I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, I think you've touched on a rather unpleasant side of religion, which is coercion and control through fear.
To be honest, I have no idea what happens after death. But what does make sense to me is that you account for how you behaved in your life. If you are trying to live a good life, trying to be kind and pleasant and helpful to your fellow man - then I dont think you have anything to worry about.
We're all human and we're entitled to our humanness - that is, to make mistakes, to stumble, to be indecisive and to encompass all the foibles peculiar to the human condition. Just do your best. The effort will be precious to God.
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