[Angela]

Of course people take me for granted, when I GIVE me for granted.

I've trained people, both consciously and unconsciously, to expect me to keep giving them what I've always given them. The trust me to continue to be who I am for them.

Sometimes I train them by communicating directly: like Danger Man takes it for granted that he doesn't have to worry about me sleeping with other men, and that I am committed to being a great friend to him, because I've told him so outright.

And sometimes I train them by communicating indirectly: like my neighbors take it for granted that I will be sensitive to need for quiet in our building, or certain posters here take it for granted that I will respond in a particular way, because that's who they've known me to be enough times to fill up their convincers.

That's fine, except when it's not fine. I totally and happily accept that people take me for granted, and when that grant-takingness results in behavior that doesn't work for me, I know it's time to look at how I've created this (trained them) and see what I could let go of or generate that would make a positive difference.

For instance, if Danger Man took it for granted that I would be sexually faithful forever regardless of whether he was or not, I'd know it was time to apprise him that his thinking was flawed as to what he might reasonably expect from my choices.

Likewise, if a neighbor took my quiet neighborness for granted such that they threw an all-nighter without inviting me, I might be time for some instruction otherwise.

That's not to say, by the way, that I would seek revenge or retaliation, let's be clear -- I know it might sound like that. No, what I mean is that if I don't like the training I've done, it's not THEIR job to stop taking me for granted, it's MY job to try something new that works better.

In the meanwhile, it's nice to know that we can take trust each other to be exactly who we are, isn't it? I like that about life.