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Angela · 07-15-2009, 03:54 PM

I think one important frame to be flexible about if you want to persuade someone is the frame of motivation. Many "salespeople" (people who want to persuade) operate from a rather stiff sense of motivation -- like what motivates themselves, or what's "common knowledge," or what they think their target *should* be motivated by; and they don't bother to discover what motivates the person they're talking to and then operate in that person's frame.

For instance, the wife who wants to liven up her marriage, so she suggests to her husband that they spend more romantic time together alone -- not realizing that her husband's idea of enlivenment is recharging his batteries by going out, meeting and engaging with lots of people, and spending more time alone together has him feeling less enlivened and romantic with her, not more!

Or the salesperson who tells me I can't pass up this sweater because it's the perfect shade of blue for my eyes -- not realizing that although I want it to look good, I'm far more likely to buy a sweater that feels good on my body.

I think a great place to start is with getting really familiar with recognizing meta-programs -- the unconscious perception filters that include but go far beyond the basic Myers-Briggs filters.

07-15-2009, 03:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	I think one important frame to be flexible about if you want to persuade someone is the frame of motivation. Many "salespeople" (people who want to persuade) operate from a rather stiff sense of motivation -- like what motivates themselves, or what's "common knowledge," or what they think their target should be motivated by; and they don't bother to discover what motivates the person they're talking to and then operate in that person's frame. For instance, the wife who wants to liven up her marriage, so she suggests to her husband that they spend more romantic time together alone -- not realizing that her husband's idea of enlivenment is recharging his batteries by going out, meeting and engaging with lots of people, and spending more time alone together has him feeling less enlivened and romantic with her, not more! Or the salesperson who tells me I can't pass up this sweater because it's the perfect shade of blue for my eyes -- not realizing that although I want it to look good, I'm far more likely to buy a sweater that feels good on my body. I think a great place to start is with getting really familiar with recognizing meta-programs -- the unconscious perception filters that include but go far beyond the basic Myers-Briggs filters.