Congrats to you.. don't beat yourself up about anything you do.. you are perfect as far as I'm concerned and here's another sm weirdo for yah..
Might I suggest if you have no place to live.. and don't enjoy the street.. try couchsurfing.com.. you don't need money to be happy.. I hope you find what will make you happy (just keep searching) and there is nothing wrong with living moment to moment
