“I just want peace through nothingness.” This is very profound and a beautiful desire.
I know you’re suffering, but through this suffering you can get peace through nothingness. But this is fulfilled in life, not in death.
I have suffered through depression often. I would have ended my life, but I Knew there would be consequences. Namely, in some shape or form, “I”, or the unfulfilled energies within me, would have to come back! The thought of this- even just the possibility of this being true, was enough to keep me here. Was enough to continue living. I found it very frightening to think I might have to do this all again!
The hardest time of my life was in my twenties. Hang in there, it gets BETTER.
I totally agree with you about the nice and good people get the shaft, while the mean and selfish people get what they want. How many times have I said, “This is NOT FAIR!” “This is NOT RIGHT!” How come I can barely pay the rent, while that greedy guy is buying his second yacht????
The truth is, we are the lucky ones, and this is realized as we walk on.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There is a whole bunch of us who are in the same boat as you are.
We need you!
Something that might help for now is doing something helpful for something else. Like animals. Or plants. Or even people. This gets our focus off of ourselves some, and is also needed. Even walking a dog is helpful, and gives a purpose to our life, and is beneficial.
When we're in your twenties, we tend to think mostly about ourselves and our happiness or our misery. When we step out of yourself a little, the rewards are great.
I truly understand, Adam, but there IS consequences to suicide. Years from now you will look back and be so grateful that you did not do this.
What you want- “peace through nothingness”- is found while living, not in death of the body.
Realizing peace through nothingness is why we are alive. Suicide is not surrender. We are here to surrender- to surrender to what is in this moment. This is how we realize peace through nothingness. And this is the end of suffering.
You are loved,