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blossom · 07-11-2009, 08:52 AM

Angela: I am aware that projection is a natural phenomena, and I am aware that when I react to someone with annoyance, that it is an opportunity to take back something disowned. It's not so much that it bothers me that they are projecting onto me, as there isn't much I can do about it, it's more that when they do, and I point it out to them, they deny it and turn around and make me out to be bad! That's when it changes from projection to emotional abuse...and I'm over it! This has been going on for 10 very intense years, and frankly, I'm pretty worn down by all the projecting I do cop.

I do work at taking back my own projections, consciously, and it's an ongoing, never ending process, so it is frustrating when others around me aren't doing it as well. I know I can't 'make' them...but I'm still allowed to feel frustrated! It doesn't mean I'm saying they 'should' be a different way...just that when they give me this feedback, I am not sure whether there is truth to it, or if it is their stuff, and this is what causes me to become confused!

I think the original post I sent stated clearly, that I wanted to work out whether or not I do actually take myself too seriously...and I have come to a conclusion there, with the helpful reminders of some people on this thread.

It seems as though you have picked out quotes that I wrote, but taken them out of the context they were in and made them to be some sort of hypocrisy of mine.
I'm wondering why you decided that I don't allow other people to be themselves totally? Where was it written in anything I wrote that I don't let other people be everything they are and aren't?
I have known for quite some time now that I can't change anyone else, and I usually won't waste my time even trying to either...I'm the only one who can change myself, IF I think I need to change some part of me.

What annoys me is when other people give their oppinion about me, that I didn't ask for and which I make a habit of NOT doing to them, unless they ask me, and decide that I need to change something about myself that they don't approve of...when I do my best to allow them to be themselves, and work things out in their own time, as I'm aware everyone does, and everyone is at there own level of development...I find that pretty rude and not at all in harmony with the adage of "be the change you want to see in the world!"or " do unto others as you would have them do unto you" or any other relevant cliche you can think of! I have found that doing unto others as you would have them do unto you does not necessarily mean that is what you will end up recieving as you cannot make other people behave the way you want...I feel like you jumped to the wrong conclusion about how I behave.
I'm not really seeing where it is that you say I'm projecting? If you could give examples, that might help? I have re-read the quotes. It's more just me venting my own frustration at being misunderstood and misjudged by these people when I do have fun in my own way and can laugh at things that are funny...which isn't always my reaction to their "jokes", which aren't all that funny IMO!
I understand that they are extroverted and therefore do not understand me at all, but it is unnerving to be constantly told you are too serious, when really that's just the way my face happens to be...I have never had a naturally smiley face, and I won't really smile unless I feel like there is something to smile about, so it is something I have gotten alot in my life!

I get that you are being challenging to empower me...I will re-read the quotes some more and see if I get what you are trying to point out to me...

07-11-2009, 08:52 AM	#23 (permalink)
blossom Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,897	Angela: I am aware that projection is a natural phenomena, and I am aware that when I react to someone with annoyance, that it is an opportunity to take back something disowned. It's not so much that it bothers me that they are projecting onto me, as there isn't much I can do about it, it's more that when they do, and I point it out to them, they deny it and turn around and make me out to be bad! That's when it changes from projection to emotional abuse...and I'm over it! This has been going on for 10 very intense years, and frankly, I'm pretty worn down by all the projecting I do cop. I do work at taking back my own projections, consciously, and it's an ongoing, never ending process, so it is frustrating when others around me aren't doing it as well. I know I can't 'make' them...but I'm still allowed to feel frustrated! It doesn't mean I'm saying they 'should' be a different way...just that when they give me this feedback, I am not sure whether there is truth to it, or if it is their stuff, and this is what causes me to become confused! I think the original post I sent stated clearly, that I wanted to work out whether or not I do actually take myself too seriously...and I have come to a conclusion there, with the helpful reminders of some people on this thread. It seems as though you have picked out quotes that I wrote, but taken them out of the context they were in and made them to be some sort of hypocrisy of mine. I'm wondering why you decided that I don't allow other people to be themselves totally? Where was it written in anything I wrote that I don't let other people be everything they are and aren't? I have known for quite some time now that I can't change anyone else, and I usually won't waste my time even trying to either...I'm the only one who can change myself, IF I think I need to change some part of me. What annoys me is when other people give their oppinion about me, that I didn't ask for and which I make a habit of NOT doing to them, unless they ask me, and decide that I need to change something about myself that they don't approve of...when I do my best to allow them to be themselves, and work things out in their own time, as I'm aware everyone does, and everyone is at there own level of development...I find that pretty rude and not at all in harmony with the adage of "be the change you want to see in the world!"or " do unto others as you would have them do unto you" or any other relevant cliche you can think of! I have found that doing unto others as you would have them do unto you does not necessarily mean that is what you will end up recieving as you cannot make other people behave the way you want...I feel like you jumped to the wrong conclusion about how I behave. I'm not really seeing where it is that you say I'm projecting? If you could give examples, that might help? I have re-read the quotes. It's more just me venting my own frustration at being misunderstood and misjudged by these people when I do have fun in my own way and can laugh at things that are funny...which isn't always my reaction to their "jokes", which aren't all that funny IMO! I understand that they are extroverted and therefore do not understand me at all, but it is unnerving to be constantly told you are too serious, when really that's just the way my face happens to be...I have never had a naturally smiley face, and I won't really smile unless I feel like there is something to smile about, so it is something I have gotten alot in my life! I get that you are being challenging to empower me...I will re-read the quotes some more and see if I get what you are trying to point out to me... Last edited by blossom; 07-11-2009 at 09:05 AM.