Quote:
Originally Posted by Indiana  Do you have ANY actual idea of the monetary, physical and emotional costs involved in raising a child as a single mother?
Contrary to the bizarre ideas you seem to have, it is not a party where you lie around watching cable TV and prancing off for manicures at your exes expense, in between playing with your new 'baby doll'.
It is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hard work, emotionally and physically exhausting, and expensive. If you can't understand that, no wonder you have such a hard line against child support. |
Indiana,
I think men should pay child support when there is a divorce involved or if the man had chosen to have a baby and had consented to having a baby rather than aborting or adopting.
I am not speaking ill of women but only of certain individuals who are using the men for sperm donations that come with a check to boot. This is the smaller number of cases of course.
What I am discussing are equal rights for men and women.
Somewhere in our society we have confused equal rights with women to mean more rights when it comes to children.
Men should have a say so regarding whether to have a child or not.
Here's my point:
1. Both men and women decide to have sex; equally.
2. Both men and women should decide to have a child equally.
3. If the man agrees to have the child (which many do) then they would be required to equally support the child. They should have equal visitation rights and the most qualified person should get majority custody.
4. If the man choses not to have a child but she choses to have the child it should be her right. She choses not to abort or to put for adoption. With this choice comes responsibility. She should know the man's decision before the baby is bourne so she can decide whether or not to put the child up for adoption, get help from family or gov't assistance.
Do single moms have it tough? Yes
Do they have a choice? Yes
With tough choices comes a rewarding experience with their children. There are all types of women. Some want to try to keep the man, some want gov't assistance and child support but the vast majority of women just want that special little one in their lives. They may not have planned for the child but they may be morally against abortion BUT too attached to put up for adoption. This is an option however and the choice to make a decision should be based upon knowing BEFORE you make that decision what type of father you will be getting to help. If the woman knew before making her decision what type of man she had as a father it MAY weigh in her decision making.
Men should be forced to make a decision and then they must live with those consequences. If they chose to have the baby too then they must pay. If they chose to not have the baby and didn't help the mother then the mother shouldn't have to deal with him and to share HER child with someone who didn't want the child to begin with.
There are dozens of scenarios where men do wrong and dozens where women do wrong in matters of relationships.
Its simply my view that men should have some say so over whether to have a child or not.
The argument in the past is that the man should have thought about that before pulling it out. That argument is based upon an older culture where premarital sex was not viewed to be a right. Nowadays sex does not need to equal baby. You may say its a risk and it could happen however there are options that are in line with our culture as a whole.
There are thousands of families with a mother and father who can afford a child and can give that child a better home. Children who come from adopted families rather than single parent homes do just as well or often better.
If a woman cannot bare to let her baby go and has a man who DOES NOT chose to have a child must deal with the consequences (with gov't assistance if necessary).
See I do understand.